


God Damn Kitties

by winterwatercolour



Category: The Martian (2015)
Genre: F/M, Too much fluff, cat allergies, chris beck is a little shit, headcanon and piper belongs to capitanbucky :), i havent read the book im so sorry for the inaccuracies!!, this is also her birthday gift
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-18
Updated: 2015-11-18
Packaged: 2018-05-02 07:29:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,899
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5239814
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/winterwatercolour/pseuds/winterwatercolour
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Vogel wouldn't have invited Beck and Johanssen over to his house if he had known that Beck had a deep dark secret.<br/>or<br/>Chris has really bad cat allergies which is terrible because cats have the tendency to fall in love with him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	God Damn Kitties

**Author's Note:**

> So a while back Capitanbucky made some really cute headcanons and i asked if i could write for one, and they said yes! This honestly isn't a piece of art at all; it actually is really bad and i'm kinda ashamed to pass this off as a birthday gift >\\\

When Louisa Vogel heard the knock at the door, she jumped out of her chair, dropping her littlest pet shop in the kitchen of her new doll house her dad had built just for her. She began running towards the door and she always listened to her parents: don't answer to strangers! But this time she knew it was Aunt Beth and Uncle Chris, and boy, did she love them and of course she chose not to listen to her folks.

 

* * *

Beth was really shocked when the door opened so quickly, Vogel usually took his God damn time opening the door, to wind them up. The shock died down when she saw that it was little Louisa who had opened the door.

 

The shock had completely disappeared when she threw herself onto herself and Chris, warmth filling her heart. When she had pulled away Chris scooped her in his arms and jumped around, making her giggle with excitement, 

 

"You've grown so much, silly duck! You've turned into a swan!"  

 

Beth's heart soared; Chris was just so adorable with kids and made her heart flutter thinking about perhaps Chris doing that with their own kids. She turned a slight shade of pink at the thought. 

 

Alex finally appeared from the stairs and put his hands on his hips, "Have you abandoned me for this handsome mess, mein liebe?" Chris whipped around to meet him and laughed, "Of course she has, Vogel, I'm much better than you will ever be!"

 

Alex laughed it off and Beth leaned in to kiss his cheek, "You better have not burnt the food, Vogel." 

 

Alex chuckled, "I'm a chemist, I think I should know this type of stuff." Chris put Louisa down and put his arm around Beth's waist, making Beth grin and settle into his arms. She brought her backpack to her shoulder so she could sink into Chris. It was all very funny to her; having a backpack full of stuff. It was practically a sleepover; the next day, the rest of the crew would come over and they'd all have a massive sleepover. She could picture it now; all of them playing video games. And of course, she would win. They really were kids. 

 

"Well, come on in now fellas, we have a lot of catching up to do!" Alex cheered, gesturing for them to come in. Beth smiled as she smelled the sweet smell of Alex's home. It always reminded her of a friendly suburban family on a Monday afternoon; just when a mom was baking cookies.

 

* * *

Chris rubbed at his nose, the smell of the house a bit odd. He usually loved the smell; and it wasn't necessarily a bad smell..just..odd.

 

The rest of the house was the same, the same white and black colour scheme with the space ornaments scattered about. He watched as Alex brought Louisa back into the playroom and Beth squeal in delight after seeing his wife, giving her a hug and immediately up falling into conversation.

 

He was just about to join the conversation when he felt a tickle in his nose, and he quickly excused himself to the bathroom. He released his handkerchief from his pocket and let out a blessedly soft sneeze. He blinked; he wondered if wether his allergies were acting up, but he was never allergic to anything in Alex's house. He wondered if he developed an allergy to some sort of detergent; or something; but he decided to shrug it off because it was only one sneeze, after all. Surely there was nothing wrong.

* * *

They were all sitting by the table, chatting about how their lives were going, eating one of the best pastas and bread Beth had ever had when Alex's eyes suddenly lit up.

 

"Oh yeah! How's Piper?"

 

Beth smiled, thinking of the fat cat and how much it loved Chris, "Piper's fine; still really cute."

 

"In fact, the kids love Piper so much that we got a cat!"

 

Chris sneezed, as if on command. It happened so quickly that Beth didn't even have time to react. She turned to face her boyfriend who was hunched over a handkerchief clasped over his mouth and nose, eyes still closed. He looked so cute, she had to admit.

* * *

Beth didn't know how he never mentioned his cat allergy with Vogel, but apparently he never did mention it.

 

 "Bless you," Alex said guiltily which made Chris feel 10 times worse.

 

"Thanks," Chris said awkwardly.

 

Louisa ran back into the kitchen, carrying a fat, fluffy grey cat, "Uncle Chris! Aunt Beth! Meet Cosmo!"

 

"Cosmo, Vogel, Cosmo? Really?!" Beth laughed, trying to break the ice. However Chris seemed to be about to be saying something when the case of the sneezes interrupted him yet again and he sneezed thrice into his handkerchief in rapid succession.

 

"Bless you! I didn't know doctors could get sick," Louisa said cheerfully, "can we take care of him daddy?" 

 

Chris laughed at that, "I'm not sick, don't you be worrying about me. It's just that cats make me sneeze sometimes," Beth wanted to laugh loudly, sometimes really was an understatement, "and plus, I don't get sick." Beth wanted to laugh again, because between Chris and herself, he got sick more often than she did. 

 

Alex gulped as Louisa climbed up onto his lap, "I didn't know that you had allergies, Beck, I would have picked up some med-" Chris cut him off,

 

"Vogel, it's fine, honestly. I live with a cat, for fuc-fudge's saa-" Chris' sentence was cut off by yet another sneeze. Beth chuckled,

 

"He's fine, honestly Vogel, just hope you don't mind the sound of him sneezing," Beth warned playfully, reaching over to ruffle her boyfriend's hair. 

 

Alex laughed, "not a problem, but just a warning, Watney's probably going to be teasing you until you want to jab your eyeballs out tomorrow, just a heads up!" 

 

Everyone laughed at that. "Honestly, Vogel, he'd probably do that with or without the allergies," Chris joked, thinking of the far too cheerful Mark Watney.

 

The next couple of hours was them just chatting, drinking some wine, Chris sneezing, and of course they couldn't resist some karaoke. Beth chose a Beatles song, obviously, Alex just messed around with a modern song, his wife joining in with him in just the same goofy manner, and now it was Chris' turn. Beth knew he could sing, really well, on top of all his other talents and she just knew what he was gonna sing.

 

"..Do you have the time.."

* * *

They had gone to bed at around 1 am in one of Alex's guest rooms, and out of habit Beth woke up at around 3 am to get some water when she realised that Chris wasn't asleep, and his breath was hitching. 

 

"Christopher?" She asked worriedly, rubbing little circles on his back.

 

"Oh Beth did I wake you?" He asked huskily, his voice breathy. 

 

"What's going on?" Beth replied in confusion, sitting up. Chris hunched into a little ball and stifled a sneeze, and another, then another. Beth raised her eyebrow,

 

"Christopher, have you been fighting off sneezes to try and not wake me?" She questioned sternly, obviously not too impressed.

 

Chris was ready to deny, until he was taken by another sneeze by surprise, unable to stifle it in time but able to keep quiet, he turned to face her and he just couldn't lie to her, "Yeah, I'm sorry."

 

Beth sighed, "Oh Chris. You're a doctor! You shouldn't be putting yourself through unnecessary hardships! Here, lets get you some water and tissue." Beth stood to get Chris' flask and some tissue, and handed the water first. When he drank enough she passed him the tissue, which he freely sneezed in and blew, then she got up again to get some medicine from her bag.

 

When Chris had finished, she handed him the pills and the flask again which he swallowed obediently. Chris sat there helplessly for about 10 minutes, sneezing irritably  until they finally faded out, leaving him absolutely exhausted. Beth sighed and pressed a soft kiss against his temple,

 

"Chris, never do this again, okay? I know this isn't serious but there was no need for you to be in discomfort when I can help you, okay?" Chris nodded slowly, sniffling and sneezing a high pitched sneeze that sounded like a kitten. Beth stifled her laughter, in courtesy of her hosts. He blushed hard and was simply pushed back down to bed,

 

"Here, I'll be the big spoon for once, okay Chris?" Beth cooed softly as she pressed her body against Chris', burying  her face in his soft hair. 

 

"Beth, i'm sorry-I didn't mean to..I shouldn't be putting this burde-"

 

Beth turned him over and kissed him firmly on the lips, letting him know that she was there and establishing her dedication to him.

 

"Shut up, you're alright, we're alright, i love you, okay? You hear me, Chris?"

 

Chris swallowed and nodded, "I hear you. I love you too."

 

She pulled him against her and let him drift off somewhere that didn't exist.

* * *

Melissa was the first to arrive with her husband and none of them were surprised when she did. She was always the one who had it all under control, always turned up early. When she came they all instantly clicked and started picking up where the left off, chatting about their love interests and space and the new movie that just came out. What Beth loved the most about Melissa is how she was able to have a fun, light-hearted conversation while also having meaningful, deep ones.

 

Chris' allergies started to act up again when Martinez arrived, and Chris had opened the door to greet him and nearly sneezed right on his face if it weren't for his trusty old hankie. Martinez, was thankfully Martinez and just laughed it off, and bear hugged him then proceeded to get in. They all made it to the living room in which they started setting up the video games, the music and Alex dropped his kids over to their friend's house for a sleepover. 

 

Chris was sneezing every few minutes when Mark arrived, he was late but he had three pizzas in his arms, using that as an excuse for his lateness. They forgave him quickly. Chris tried to withhold from sneezing whilst Mark arrived, but it was inevitable and Mark already started with his cheesy remarks.

 

Chris sneezed twice into his handkerchief as he watched Beth plop the game onto the console which earned him a 

 

"I took a shower today, geez Beck!"

 

a triple sneeze and a 

 

"Woah! Don't die on us now Beckie!"

 

a sneezing fit and a 

 

"Woah there, Rudolph, calm down!"

 

Chris was so exhausted from the fit that he plopped his head against the couch and mumbled, "Watney, you are literally all the other reindeer."

 

Watney laughed and threw him some chocolate, "Here, it'll make you feel better." Chris rolled his eyes, "Not in a physical health way." Beth laughed at that and brought him close to her, and cuddled him, kissing his pink nose.

 

Mark huffed, "Ew, love." Beth laughed and pulled him into the cuddle, and Mark pulled Melissa, and Melissa pulled Martinez, and Martinez pulled Vogel until they were all cuddling and giggling.

 

Vogel's wife walked in with popcorn, eyeing the cuddle pile before her and sighed,

 

 "Nerds."


End file.
